Month: June 2016

When Men Decide To Cook

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1.Planning is irrelevant

Women, we understand the science behind planning meals, preparation, and taking our time cooking.  For example, my mama would start preparing Sunday dinner on Saturday, and she would start cooking really early on Sunday because she knew after church everyone would be hungry and ready to eat.

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However, when (some) men decide to cook, it isn’t a planned event.  There is no prior discussion about it.  It’s no, “Baby, I am going to cook Tuesday.”  The thought process actually goes like this.  I am hungry and I want (specific dish) right now!) Men will start cooking when they feel hungry. This is why they will start cooking at 7pm on a Thursday, or 10pm on a Friday night.  In their mind, the food will get done in about 30 minutes, but the gap between expectation and reality is enormous.

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2.Everything is Cooking on the Highest Degree Possible

So now that you understand the planning process, you should understand why everything needs to be cooked fast and on high! When baking food in the oven, the minimum degree is 400 and the maximum can go anywhere from 450 to 475.  Therefore, when meat is baked in the oven, the outside is nice and brown, but the inside is rubber ( I am exaggerating here).  It doesn’t bother them because they have strong mouths so the rubber doesn’t affect the way they eat.  On the other hand, for you, chewing on that meat can be crucial, but you do it with a smile on your face.

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And, on the stove top, if it’s not boiling, it ain’t cooking.  So instead of rice simmering in the pot, the water is boiling over onto the eyes because they had the nerve to cover up the top.

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3.The More the Betta

What looks like just enough food to you, is not enough food in their eyes.  They like to cook a lot of food even when it’s unnecessary.  This is why men do a good job cooking for tailgates and cookouts.  For those occasions you can never have too much food.  The problem is they never adjust or deviate from that amount of food.  So when they cook, it’s either a lot of food or a lot more food.  You never make less than a lot of food.  

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4. Meat is the only thing on the menu.

What are the sides? More meat!!

Men cooking 35. Heavy-Handed Seasoning

Nothing better than tasting the seasoning before the food enters your mouth.  The smell alone is tasty.

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6. Messy! Messy. Messy.

The whole time they’ve been cooking, you better believe there was no cleaning-up-as-you-go.  The water that boiled over from the rice pot is now hardened on the stove top underneath the eye.  The bar-b-q sauce is splashed on the wall.  And dirty dishes overflow the sink even before you start eating. He says he will clean it up after you all eat, but really after food is consumed, he will be too stuffed and tired to clean up anything.

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At the end of the day, don’t complain about anything because men will try to get out of cooking and blame it on the fact that you always complain about how they cook.  So just sit back, observe, and enjoy the food that you didn’t have to make.

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Honor Our Fathers

Posted in EmpowermentLeave a comment

We need to stop using Father’s Day as a day to tear fathers down.  Every year, this is the day people use social media and other social network outlets as a platform to discredit the role of fathers and fatherhood.  There is more bashing than supporting and honoring the ones who are doing a great job. We don’t do this on Mother’s Day, and I’m sure there are people who don’t have great relationships with their mothers.

Growing up Fatherless

I understand that many of you grew up without a father present, particularly those of us whose father abandoned the family.  I understand that dealing with years of feeling abandoned by your father can make you want to lash out because you’re hurt; however, this is not the time, nor place to do that. And,if you have an  uncle, grandfather, or some other type of father figure in your life, why not use this day to honor them instead?

Harboring Hurt Feelings Turns Into Anger

Maybe you’re thinking, “No! I’m not hurt. I hate that guy. I don’t care about him.”  Well, being angry is an expression of hurt, and if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t put so much energy into logging onto social media and writing up a post about him and other deadbeat fathers. Not only that, but you gave this some thought, plotted on posting it on social networks, and posted it so the world can see how angry you are. Just face it, that takes a lot time and energy.  Just let fathers have their day.

For example, can you imagine it’s your birthday, you’re trying to celebrate, but the only people writing on your Facebook wall are people who don’t like you. They post comments to remind you how much they dislike you.  You wonder why they even post on your wall if they don’t have anything nice to say.  You’re also upset because they waited until your birthday to write such mean comments.

Good Fathers Are Out There

It’s the same thing on Father’s Day.  Fathers all around the nation are being great fathers everyday.  They take care of their kids, feed them, and play with them all year.  Then Father’s Day comes around and they log on to see more hating going on than honoring.  People are posting comments like, “I am the mother and father,”and “My daddy didn’t do nothing for me.” All of this could be true, but please pick another day to express your frustrations.

Let It Go

Actually, just stop talking about it.  Nobody needs to know how slack your daddy or baby daddy is.  Posting about it on social media is not going to change your situation. Perhaps you are just posting about it because you want someone’s sympathy.  Keep family matters in house, and like my mama say, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Thoughts On Stanford Rape Case

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I’m the type of person that hears the word ‘rape’ and feelings of disgust sit heavy at the pit of my stomach.  I can’t even watch the fake rape scenes on television shows or movies without feeling emotional (and I fast-forward or skip those scenes).  Now, by no means am I an expert on the subject of rape, but I am aware that the aftermath of this experience can be very detrimental for the victim. The Stanford Rape case is disturbing because Brock Allen Turner, who is the rapist had a lenient sentencing.  Also, his father had the audacity to try and paint his son as the victim.  Here are some of my thoughts on the case.

My Thoughts:

 To the father of the rapist: Rape is one of the most horrific things ever when other people do it, and it is equally horrible when your son did it, even if it were for “20 minutes”. Those “20 minutes” drastically altered the life of a young woman, who is the real victim in this situation.  Had it been your daughter, or family member you would also be upset if the rapist was sentenced for only 6 months in jail. Regardless if it’s your family or a friend, wrong is wrong. And if your family member is in the wrong, you don’t have to say anything publicly, but privately, you should set them straight.

Perhaps you think by speaking up for your son and victimizing him shows that you support him and you’re the best parent ever.  Well it’s not helpful at all. It’s dangerous to dismiss the horrible and unacceptable behavior of your son by painting him as a victim. Maybe he acts this way because in the past he’s behaved badly and you let him get away with it. In your eyes, maybe you think your son can do no wrong – BUT HE CAN.  And he did.

To the young woman, the real victim in this case: I can only imagine what you’re going through, and in my eyes you are brave.  What courage it took for you to write such a detailed letter about your traumatic experience. Your words are felt by many and empowers other victims struggling with the reality of similar experiences.  It’s impossible to read this open letter without tearing up, and I imagine you were reliving each moment with every word.

Also, to the two guys on the bikes: Thank you for noticing the obvious. You saw an unconscious woman lying by a dumpster with a guy on top of her, and you stopped it.  You also went a step further and reported it.  

 
Finally, to the rapist:  You’re not even worth the words I have to say to you.  And what I want to say should stay off the record anyway.  But I will say, I hope you learn something from this.  You may be able to get over in the system, but you have to live with what you’ve done to an innocent young woman.  You can’t hide behind alcohol and your daddy forever. At some point, we all have to look ourselves in the mirror, face our wrongs, accept them, and forgive ourselves.  But continuing to deny it, isn’t the way to go about this. Better believe that.

The People You Meet- At Work: Speakerphone Users

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There is nothing more annoying than your office being next to or down the hall from a Speakerphone User. Ironically, sometimes the speaker phone users are amongst the higher-up group, or one of the ‘Chosen’ as I like to call them.  Yes, these are the same individuals who encourage you to meet with customers, be productive, and feel comfortable in your work space.  However, they are oblivious to the fact that they are, in fact the ones causing the biggest disturbance.  

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Speakerphone Users got their name because this special group of people are afraid of putting a phone to their ear.  They also do this to make it sound like they are discussing something very important.  And, surprise! The person on the other end is literally right next door to them.

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The Speakerphone Users  have their own office etiquette guidelines.

1. If the person they need to speak to is between 2 and 3 feet away, they must call them to have a conversation.

 2. When having a conversation via speakerphone, both users must talk loudly enough so that all surrounding neighbors can also hear the important information being relayed back and forth.

 

How to deal with a Speakerphone User: wear headphones

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The 5 Friends You Need

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1.Spiritual Friend

These friends will remind you to stay prayed up, in the word, and grounded  

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2.Life Coach Friend

This friend is like a walking “How to” book and gives you advice on things like buying your first car, moving into a new place, questions to ask when looking for an insurance company, etc.

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3.Turn Up Buddy

This friend is the life of the party! Whatever birthday, party, trip to the mall, trip to the gas station – it doesn’t matter, just know you’re going to have a good time doing it with them.

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4.Petty Betty

When you need to vent about a person and you want someone to be on your side, call Petty Betty because they will justify and validate everything you do even if you’re absolutely in the wrong.  Petty Betty is also one to call when you need someone to hype you up before you confront a person and tell them about themselves.

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5.Voice of Reason

Make sure you call this friend right after you talk to Petty Betty.  This friend is able to give good advice and see all perspectives in a given situation.  Petty Better may make you feel like you’re always in the right, but Voice of Reason will tell you about yourself and help you make the right decisions.

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